Tuesday, December 06, 2005

The Sea of Change

All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players :
They have their exits and they have their entrances;
And one man in his time plays many parts ,
His act being seven ages . At first the infant,
Mewling and puking in the nurse's arms.
And then the whining school boy , with his satchel
And shining morning face , creeping like snail
Unwilling to school . And then the lover ,
Sighing like furnace , with a woeful ballad
Made to his mistress' eyebrow.Then a soldier ,
Full of strange oaths and bearded like the pard,
Jealous in honour, sudden and quick in quarrel,
Seeking the bubble reputation
Even in the cannon's mouth . And then the justice,
In fair round belly with good capon lined,
With eyes severe and beard of formal cut,
Full of wise saws and modern instances;
And so he plays his part . The sixth age shifts
Into the lean and slipper'd pantaloon ,
With spectacles on nose and pounch on side,
His youthful hose , well saved , a world too wide
For his shrunk shank ; and his big manly voice ,
Turning again toward childish treble , pipes
And whistles in his sound . Last scene of all ,
That ends this strange eventful history,
Is second childishness and mere oblivion ,
Sans teeth, sans eyes , sans taste, sans everything .

-William Shakspeare in 'As You Like It'

One thing thats very difficult to put up with , in life is its changing phases. I have always had problems accepting that i was no more in carefree childhood once i got to my teens and yet again when i crossed that one into the next...Always feel weird when i read e-mails from childhood chums relating to how their husbands/wives/children/inlaws are , as the case maybe. In my mind they always remain as the little kids with whom i played hide and seek or quarelled for a 'Tinkle' or a 'Champak'.....it somehow makes me feel insecure that they are no more in that role as much as i am not...Everyone seems to adapt to these transitions with so much grace...but i had always hated losing things..however small and trivial they might seem to be....Amma once in a while reprimands me for turning our home into something like a junkyard , coz i had stacked so many of my precious belongings from my past...notebooks from primary school upto engineering,water bottles, tiffin boxes, pencil boxes...its and endless list...my brother says i must be nuts to hold on to all this garbage...cant blame him...after all i am not quite like him...As much as i hold on to things i have to let them go....

Now comes the most difficult phase , perhaps the most important,the most difficult and the most feared/longed......'Marriage'......Almost all my friends (with only a few exceptions : the number gets low everyday) have tied the matrimonial knot....majority of them already within it, some are anticipating....i maybe joining them in a year...

I can never ever make a fair choice which is better, the single life which promises loneliness but is also free from responsibilities....or the married one which promises companionship but demands several new roles to be played with care... i guess i am being greedy:) i want the best of both...and its not possible to get a rose without thorns...Maybe i will let time decide for me , as it has always done.....Meanwhile i can prepare myself for the immediate change that my role will have to undertake , emotionally and otherwise.........

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