When ever I get a break (Read as Week ends), I some times drive to Noida; 30 mins drive from mi place assuming that the traffic conditions are not so crude. I often Visit Raju bhayya(whom i fondly call rajuvettan) and his betterhalf Sibi Deedi (Whom I again fondly call Sibiyechi). Both of them are mast and believe in my philosophy of Unlimited fun..frivolous and frolic...Both were my super seniors in Mar Ivanios College, Trivandrum from where I graduated and hence the acquaintence has grown so intense that I am a part of their small family.
I remember during my last visit he talked so much about "Love" that it instigated the sanest thoughts in me to leave abruptly. What he spoke was not really appealing to me and was obviously so boring.. I decided to turn deaf ears. Mi atention was caught else where and I was just mechanically nodding to wot ever he said. At one point, he woke me up so desperately from mi world that he asked me some question..."So wot do you understand from that..?" Quite obvious that I had no clue as I was purposefully not listening for sure..In order to elude a direct question from him..and no dis respect ofcourse... Mi mind..the culprit decided to ask him a dummy question, the question I never even in my dreams thought of asking him.
I asked him, "How did you know that Sibi deedi was the one destined for you?" The answer from Raju bhayya was instant as if he had practiced it many times before..He said.." I first met her in a private bus and it was raining heavily. I was in queue behind her to get down when suddenly her dhupatta got stuck in some metalic part of the foot board." He helped her out and escorted the young lady outside. He continues, "I didnt have an umbrella and I had to walk all the way to the college; around a kilometre." She asked him "Collegeillekkanno..?" (To the college?). Raju Bhayya remembers, they desperately searched for an auto with few success. After wasting some time on this both of them decided to walk to the college under a single umbrella.It is this walk and the moments they shared for about 15 minutes was all necessary for a relationship.. a relationship that was binded by a emotion designed specifically to overwelhm logic....more abstract or potent and dominant than fevicol or any oter influential glue on this earth.
Raju bhayya gratefully remembers " The moment I touched her for the first time, I knew that this was the girl for me..it was like..pre destined...a relation ship that eventually became clearer to us as we progressed along the fourth quadrant of the graph.." Sibi deedi remembers " the moment I was walking with him towards the college, I knew I am walking with the man of mi life..." Wot do one calls this..serendipity..Magic...
I was a voracious listener bi now..listening attendively to each and every line of wot both of them were saying. I could experience true love; I could feel it lingering through mi senses. I often wonder in today's world people date, spend hours on chat..what not..wot not...and finally face rejection or spurious travesty..plain lying, cheating..leading to all kinds of mental frustration, more than seldom prude survives. For true love to happen, it just a matter of minutes as I realize now...or some times even less...who knows..
and mi mind goes ....these lines as I drive back....to mi hub...
Theres a song in my mind now,
In your absence how can it be complete ?
Theres this picture drawn in my mind now,
In your absence who would colour it ?
SMJ
Friday, March 28, 2008
Monday, March 24, 2008
Chocolate Journey to Chandigarh
I recollect the artifacts of a so called unscheduled, unplanned and unexpected train journey to Chandigarh. The purpose of the journey being esoteric and generic. This incident storms back to about some 6 months back. Well, it so happened that I got continuous leaves for some 3 - 4 days from the Embassy. I dont know from where this idea occurred. When my mind clings on to something ..Thats it..am dead.. all set ..Go! I desperately long for train journeys and desire deeply always as I write most of my poems, German translations of classics, experiences etc..during awesome train journeys. Plus you get to meet so many actors in the system that evokes thoughts and negate mind impoverishness.
I reached the New Delhi station at around early morning 6 a.m. Ok. I have got miself here; how do i proceed, i thought. I saw train Himalayan Queen lined up. It would leave in another 10 minutes or so. I felt the adrenalin rush all of a sudden. I hurried to the reservation counter and asked for a 1st class reservation ticket. The elderly women sitting in the counter gave me the most wierdest look possible. "Abbey, jaake koi general le le..koi reservation viservation nahi milega abhi.chal.."( Hindi - impolitely she says to get lost..lols..tats te crisp..am too lazy to literally translate it..) She said it with enormous thrust and ofcourse rudely. Here I go, managed to get a general ticket and got into a stinking local compartment. The train took off (lol..) on time..I was sitting opposite to a Tamil Brahmin family facing them. The family consisted of grandmother ,daughter, hubby who was an erudite and their teenage daughter who looked pretty nerdy, a carbon copy of her father. She had a huge round specs, perhaps the mass of which gave her nose a tough time. "That nose has developed msucles holding that specs for years", I whispered. They noticed me right from the beginning and wanted to start a conversation i suppose. Mean while I received a call from mi amma. After hearing mi malayalam finally the learned father asked me as if he is convinced " Going to Chandigarh ya..?" I said "yes." He continued, " Are you going to meet your friends?" I replied "Not really, Just roaming around."
"But why in a general compartment? There is a shatabdi express after half an hour later. You could go in that with peace. I counter questioned him even before he could finish " I think I should be askin you this. You are travelling with your family, not me." He gave a pale smile and I smiled back for courtesy purpose. At this point of incidence, mi mind created a hypothesis about this man - Lets assume that this man is a damn miser unleashed... During the course of my journey, I saw him purposefully denying the requests of his wife, daughter and grandma concurrently on buying eatables. He refused to buy a cardbury chocolate that his daughter yearned, a cutlet to his wife that she has been demanding since the train embraced Sonepat station and some masala stuff for the old Grandma. In his dire exasperation he even yelled at them. Now I confirmed my hypotheis - that this man is a damn super mega miser unleashed...I am a great fan of Cardburys diary milk. I couldnt control the drooling effect. I bought one and marched towards the compartment entrance. I thought,may be I'll have a better view of the scenic beauty and inhale some cold air. More importantly I sould eat it with all the liberty I can enjoy.
As I moved, a second later the old Grandma followed. She started talking to me in Tamilayalam ( Lion share of Tamil and minority malayalam words mixed...like Aviyal; a malayalam mix stuff made with all kinds of vegetable available on earth).Her eyes were stagnent on my Cardburys. "My Grand daughter also likes Chocolate" she said..To be honest, I hate to share my chocolate with anyone unless untill that person matters so much to me. Hmm..I asked.." Patti..Koncham chocolate venamma..?"( Its Tamil..Need some chocolate, Grandma?) Even before I completed this sentence She snatched half from me. I didnt like this childish instinct; ergo, I had to respect her age (after all during one of our conversations she said.." you are a kid, not even te age of mi son..)
I would wind this up after narrating a touching scene in this whole episode. Remember the better half part of the chocolate the Grandma snatched. Ya...Now see wot she does with it.. She takes it and delivers the same to her grand daughter. Grand daughter accepts it with out any element of even wot we call textual hesitation. I have shared my Cardburys diary milk chocolate with quite a handful of people; nevertheless they were close to mi heart one way or other. Lets reach on a consensus - I think this is the best chocolate sharing I have ever witnessed and experienced discounting an inexplicable ecstacy floating some where in mi mind...even at this moment when I write this... Some profound attachment resulting some contigent affirmation...OOPs..i better Halt...
SMJ
I reached the New Delhi station at around early morning 6 a.m. Ok. I have got miself here; how do i proceed, i thought. I saw train Himalayan Queen lined up. It would leave in another 10 minutes or so. I felt the adrenalin rush all of a sudden. I hurried to the reservation counter and asked for a 1st class reservation ticket. The elderly women sitting in the counter gave me the most wierdest look possible. "Abbey, jaake koi general le le..koi reservation viservation nahi milega abhi.chal.."( Hindi - impolitely she says to get lost..lols..tats te crisp..am too lazy to literally translate it..) She said it with enormous thrust and ofcourse rudely. Here I go, managed to get a general ticket and got into a stinking local compartment. The train took off (lol..) on time..I was sitting opposite to a Tamil Brahmin family facing them. The family consisted of grandmother ,daughter, hubby who was an erudite and their teenage daughter who looked pretty nerdy, a carbon copy of her father. She had a huge round specs, perhaps the mass of which gave her nose a tough time. "That nose has developed msucles holding that specs for years", I whispered. They noticed me right from the beginning and wanted to start a conversation i suppose. Mean while I received a call from mi amma. After hearing mi malayalam finally the learned father asked me as if he is convinced " Going to Chandigarh ya..?" I said "yes." He continued, " Are you going to meet your friends?" I replied "Not really, Just roaming around."
"But why in a general compartment? There is a shatabdi express after half an hour later. You could go in that with peace. I counter questioned him even before he could finish " I think I should be askin you this. You are travelling with your family, not me." He gave a pale smile and I smiled back for courtesy purpose. At this point of incidence, mi mind created a hypothesis about this man - Lets assume that this man is a damn miser unleashed... During the course of my journey, I saw him purposefully denying the requests of his wife, daughter and grandma concurrently on buying eatables. He refused to buy a cardbury chocolate that his daughter yearned, a cutlet to his wife that she has been demanding since the train embraced Sonepat station and some masala stuff for the old Grandma. In his dire exasperation he even yelled at them. Now I confirmed my hypotheis - that this man is a damn super mega miser unleashed...I am a great fan of Cardburys diary milk. I couldnt control the drooling effect. I bought one and marched towards the compartment entrance. I thought,may be I'll have a better view of the scenic beauty and inhale some cold air. More importantly I sould eat it with all the liberty I can enjoy.
As I moved, a second later the old Grandma followed. She started talking to me in Tamilayalam ( Lion share of Tamil and minority malayalam words mixed...like Aviyal; a malayalam mix stuff made with all kinds of vegetable available on earth).Her eyes were stagnent on my Cardburys. "My Grand daughter also likes Chocolate" she said..To be honest, I hate to share my chocolate with anyone unless untill that person matters so much to me. Hmm..I asked.." Patti..Koncham chocolate venamma..?"( Its Tamil..Need some chocolate, Grandma?) Even before I completed this sentence She snatched half from me. I didnt like this childish instinct; ergo, I had to respect her age (after all during one of our conversations she said.." you are a kid, not even te age of mi son..)
I would wind this up after narrating a touching scene in this whole episode. Remember the better half part of the chocolate the Grandma snatched. Ya...Now see wot she does with it.. She takes it and delivers the same to her grand daughter. Grand daughter accepts it with out any element of even wot we call textual hesitation. I have shared my Cardburys diary milk chocolate with quite a handful of people; nevertheless they were close to mi heart one way or other. Lets reach on a consensus - I think this is the best chocolate sharing I have ever witnessed and experienced discounting an inexplicable ecstacy floating some where in mi mind...even at this moment when I write this... Some profound attachment resulting some contigent affirmation...OOPs..i better Halt...
SMJ
Sunday, March 23, 2008
The French Women and T-Shirt concerns
Let me embark on with a confession; not a nefarious one, instead a very benign one. I am the proud owner of a very bad habit. I wake up at 6 a.m every day irrespective of Sunday or Monday. I get up and take a stroll in the deserted park in front of my flat just envying all those souls who sleep peacefully and I think.."Just look at em..so oblivious...so boring..etc..etc.." That's the succinct...
Coming back...Today also the same happened..inevitable...I woke up at 6:05 a.m. I went to church and provided some food for my subconscious. By the time I got out of church it was around 9:30 a.m. I drove mi car as fast as possible, guess for what ? I wanted to have a coffee and I usually prefer it from Cafe coffee Day. The quantity of coffee they offer is simply a largesse for me. I parked mi car with great difficulty and hoped into the CCD. Oh My God! Couples...and Couples everywhere. Quite obviously it reminded me that I am single. Perfect time for a great revelation. I noticed so many eyes staring at me ( Of course you know the reason :-) ). Ergo, I managed to find an empty table as rest all were occupied. I ordered and sat back listening to some of mi favorite Ghazals when I was disturbed by a very dire voice, placing a handbag in front. A French Women. Can I? she asked . Come on, how cud I say NO. I sat back again listening Music bidding audieu to my defensive mode body language.
She took out a french novel. Nevertheless never showed any interest reading it. Was just scrolling pages i suppose. So I though that I should initiate a conversation. I disconnected and asked, "Bonjour. Comment etes-vous ? "( How are you?.its french) She suddenly noticed my I-Pod and asked "Whats the storage capacity?" I said " 2 GB" She nodded and said " pretty gud space" I said " Well. not exactly. My Ghazal collection itself wud come at around 6 GB in my Laptop. She interrupted and said "I am Marciel and I can speak good English." I understood the implication. It meant that I didnt have to struggle speaking some French. I am disgustingly pathetic with mi french language skills. The testimonial for the same was confirmed with the artificial wrinkles that appeared on her forehead when I asked her "Bonjour. Comment etes-vous ? "
As our conversation progressed we talked about many things, our profession, interests, hobbies etc..etc... Her conversations were pretty pellucid and that meant tat i didn't have to make any wrinkles on mi forehead as well. All through our conversation, I noticed the writings on her T-Shirt. It read " Married...Divorced...Single and Happy now.." I inquired about this as I no longer could contain my innate curiosity. She said.."Oh I have never married..Its just a writing and It does not mean much to me." We both laughed at this. All of a sudden 4 punjabi Lads entered the scene creating lots of noise..blabbering in punjabi..highly capricious and uncivilized. Intriguingly all four of them were wearing a black T-Shirt written F.B.I over it. Marciel said " wow..nice T-shirt" to which I confirmed acknowledgment. As they moved past us, the back side of the T-Shirt explained the abbreviation of F.B.I. No points for Guessing. Ok. You got it wrong either ways. It read FEMALE BODY INSPECTORS ..F.B.I. Ha ha.. I started laughing at this..and Marciel joined me after a second. The french are slow to follow up jokes in English.
My point is that those kids were barely 12-13 years old...not more than that. And they were driving a Skoda and loads of cash..other tan the illustrious T-Shirt message. Marciel said..."they are sure havin fun." Yes..I am sure they are..I am not commenting on anything about the entire episode. There are so many things in this world that I do not understand. Some things lies beyond my choice. Today's kids, youth; they lack direction and I doubt how efficient their parents are in showing them the right path. I just cannot comprehend the youth today. Dexterous for sure they are. But are they an insolent to our culture..? vis-a-vis my generation.
Its been over an hour in the CCD and I had to move to the Italian Embassy to get some files ( I work there). I felt the sense of urgency to reach the embassy before 12 noon as I had lunch scheduled with an old friend at 1 sharp. I bid good bye to Marciel and plugged music back into my ears..Moved out..Marciel came running towards mi car.." Oh.. I almost forgot.. Sanal..Can i have your Business card?" I gave her one and moved drove out of the parking lane slowly as she stood watching. She became clear view in mi rear view glass...soon the image faded..faded and faded....as I concentrated back to driving...through busy roads of Delhi.
Coming back...Today also the same happened..inevitable...I woke up at 6:05 a.m. I went to church and provided some food for my subconscious. By the time I got out of church it was around 9:30 a.m. I drove mi car as fast as possible, guess for what ? I wanted to have a coffee and I usually prefer it from Cafe coffee Day. The quantity of coffee they offer is simply a largesse for me. I parked mi car with great difficulty and hoped into the CCD. Oh My God! Couples...and Couples everywhere. Quite obviously it reminded me that I am single. Perfect time for a great revelation. I noticed so many eyes staring at me ( Of course you know the reason :-) ). Ergo, I managed to find an empty table as rest all were occupied. I ordered and sat back listening to some of mi favorite Ghazals when I was disturbed by a very dire voice, placing a handbag in front. A French Women. Can I? she asked . Come on, how cud I say NO. I sat back again listening Music bidding audieu to my defensive mode body language.
She took out a french novel. Nevertheless never showed any interest reading it. Was just scrolling pages i suppose. So I though that I should initiate a conversation. I disconnected and asked, "Bonjour. Comment etes-vous ? "( How are you?.its french) She suddenly noticed my I-Pod and asked "Whats the storage capacity?" I said " 2 GB" She nodded and said " pretty gud space" I said " Well. not exactly. My Ghazal collection itself wud come at around 6 GB in my Laptop. She interrupted and said "I am Marciel and I can speak good English." I understood the implication. It meant that I didnt have to struggle speaking some French. I am disgustingly pathetic with mi french language skills. The testimonial for the same was confirmed with the artificial wrinkles that appeared on her forehead when I asked her "Bonjour. Comment etes-vous ? "
As our conversation progressed we talked about many things, our profession, interests, hobbies etc..etc... Her conversations were pretty pellucid and that meant tat i didn't have to make any wrinkles on mi forehead as well. All through our conversation, I noticed the writings on her T-Shirt. It read " Married...Divorced...Single and Happy now.." I inquired about this as I no longer could contain my innate curiosity. She said.."Oh I have never married..Its just a writing and It does not mean much to me." We both laughed at this. All of a sudden 4 punjabi Lads entered the scene creating lots of noise..blabbering in punjabi..highly capricious and uncivilized. Intriguingly all four of them were wearing a black T-Shirt written F.B.I over it. Marciel said " wow..nice T-shirt" to which I confirmed acknowledgment. As they moved past us, the back side of the T-Shirt explained the abbreviation of F.B.I. No points for Guessing. Ok. You got it wrong either ways. It read FEMALE BODY INSPECTORS ..F.B.I. Ha ha.. I started laughing at this..and Marciel joined me after a second. The french are slow to follow up jokes in English.
My point is that those kids were barely 12-13 years old...not more than that. And they were driving a Skoda and loads of cash..other tan the illustrious T-Shirt message. Marciel said..."they are sure havin fun." Yes..I am sure they are..I am not commenting on anything about the entire episode. There are so many things in this world that I do not understand. Some things lies beyond my choice. Today's kids, youth; they lack direction and I doubt how efficient their parents are in showing them the right path. I just cannot comprehend the youth today. Dexterous for sure they are. But are they an insolent to our culture..? vis-a-vis my generation.
Its been over an hour in the CCD and I had to move to the Italian Embassy to get some files ( I work there). I felt the sense of urgency to reach the embassy before 12 noon as I had lunch scheduled with an old friend at 1 sharp. I bid good bye to Marciel and plugged music back into my ears..Moved out..Marciel came running towards mi car.." Oh.. I almost forgot.. Sanal..Can i have your Business card?" I gave her one and moved drove out of the parking lane slowly as she stood watching. She became clear view in mi rear view glass...soon the image faded..faded and faded....as I concentrated back to driving...through busy roads of Delhi.
Another weekend...
This weekend was a long one - 3 days at home due to good friday and easter. Friday morning i wake up super late at 9.30 , sit idling with a cup of tea which amma thrust into my hands in between her busy breakfast making schedule.Normally i sit in that posture in the kitchen for about 30-45 min , still feeling drowsy bcoz of over sleeping and yet conversing with amma on what has been happening since last sunday (which is just about 5 days back).Breakfast can be as late as 11-11.30 , and after that i turn on the computer and try to see if anybody has scrapped me in orkut or in facebook or in somethingelse...Meanwhile a hi and a hello in gtalk or yahoo messenger from classmates and friends who are in different parts of the world...In between i get up and stroll around the house with ear phones plugged to my ears,amma says something,achan asks me about something , i nod absent mindedly , oblivious to whatever they say...Come lunch,tea or dinner i continue to remain in my own private world . And then when i take my pet dog out i am reminded of the fact that ammoomma should be waiting to see me ( she lives next door ,near to my uncle's place). Although i know how much she looks forward to seeing me, (she almost waits for fridays to come hoping i will go to her first thing i get home) i keep prolonging my visit.I dont know what it is , as much as i yearn for human company i tend to keep away from it as much as well...Friday and saturday gone thus , its saturday evening and i am chatting with a friend on gtalk...he tells me about a website his friend plans to build and in the midst of many such talks casually asks how had i spent my day and i tell him 'in front of the computer'.And then he asks me a weird question ...'Dont you feel guilty about it?' I am rather confused , i tell him 'Guilty ?why should i? this is the only option i have . Ever since my brother went off to Chennai i don't have anyone of my wavelength to converse with , so inevitably i turn to the computer' My friend retorts ' Well , we have had an argument at home today on this , my grand dad had this opinion that the present generation didn't care for human relationships...once back from office they are immediately glued to the televison . And talking about wavelength , he said that it was a silly little invention of ours , while they in their days knew how to get on well with anyone . Since then i have had this realization , dont you think its scary that cyber relations should bloom while blood relationships die a pre-mature death? ' Going thus he said he felt gulity , i for one told him that i dont even feel guilty...I felt envious of him that he is capable of feeling that emotion which nowadays seem alien to me...I broke off from the chat mocking at him saying i am signing out to take care of my blood relations , but deep within i knew he was right , after all i have known it all along...
The other day one of my colleagues had pointed out that when you smile at someone it should come from your heart and not an artificial made-up one and i wondered when had i really transformed into a living robot...Was it the IT field and its lifestyle or was it generic to the modern lifestyle? Sometimes when stress really gets to my head , i stop to wonder if this was what i had dreamt to become way back in my childhood dreams...Everything comes at a price , yes...but when you cease to be yourself , then whats the point in gaining anything else...There are so many things i had wanted to do than code and test applications 12-14 hours a day...my inner being refuses to give up on them and keeps reminding me that i ought to search for better options...
The other day one of my colleagues had pointed out that when you smile at someone it should come from your heart and not an artificial made-up one and i wondered when had i really transformed into a living robot...Was it the IT field and its lifestyle or was it generic to the modern lifestyle? Sometimes when stress really gets to my head , i stop to wonder if this was what i had dreamt to become way back in my childhood dreams...Everything comes at a price , yes...but when you cease to be yourself , then whats the point in gaining anything else...There are so many things i had wanted to do than code and test applications 12-14 hours a day...my inner being refuses to give up on them and keeps reminding me that i ought to search for better options...
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